Love's a massacre.

Too many broken hearts in this world

2009-08-08T01:33:00.002+08:00

Why are there so many troubled people around me :( All this depression is starting to become infectious, like Daniel's fucking lung infection shit. So far it's gotten me, Nic, Rachel, Steffi, the random girl wearing the white halter top, and his own girlfriend sick. And James.

IN PAIN.

Wanted to take MC yesterday (and today), but had too much stuff to do at work. Liner after liner after liner. I really feel damn gong now. My brain has malfunctioned and my eyes are going wonky. I'm sooooo tired.

Holland V after work was nice, but I was too unwell/tired to really enjoy myself. The best comfort I got today was coming back home, to this soon-to-be ex-room of mine. I'll miss it... and the memories... Damn.

Okay I must not get emo.

Gonna go to sleep.

Baby it's gonna be me, you and the dancefloor

2009-08-02T09:42:00.002+08:00

Everytime I drink or go clubbing, I think of you.

Going, going, gone

2009-08-01T16:39:00.002+08:00

It just hit me... We really are moving.

Mom and dad have already started packing stuff up and clearing things out... Something I don't wanna do. I don't wanna have to look at all the things I have from the past and wonder if I should throw them away or not. But I guess, it's time for that phase in life again - that phase that forces you to look at the past, decide if you want to keep those memories or throw them out... And eventually move on.

After 10 years here, this place holds a ton of memories, from the best to the worst ones. Moving isn't going to be easy, but that's how it is. You say goodbye to a part of your past and you start a totally different chapter in a whole new place. I think after the many goodbyes I've been saying my whole life, I'm finally starting to get used to it. It's not making me cry anymore, and in fact, I don't really feel THAT much at all. Or maybe it's just that the final blow hasn't really hit me yet.

Well whatever it is, we all know that eventually, I'll be able to move on like I did the past 20 years. It's not gonna be any different now. Well new (and possibly fucking small) home, here I come.

P.S. I'm gonna make sure my room is wicked sick - it's gonna be my haven for the next... n years until I get married and move out. Haha!

Bye bye, blackbird

2009-08-01T03:06:00.003+08:00

I woke up this morning thinking it would be a relaxing day with no plans at all... And I mean, I've been out every single day of the week so far, so a day to just rot and exist was something I'd definitely appreciate.

But my sister told me that she was bringing Matty out for a swim at Safra Yishun and asked me if I wanted to come along, and even though I was feeling so bloody nua and lazy, I couldn't turn away an invitation that had Matty in it. So at 3pm, I lugged my sorry big fat ass out of the house and went allllll the way to Safra Yishun (stupid taxi driver didn't even bloody know where the place was and pissed me off sooooo bad by talking cock the whole way to cover up his stupidity) to see my lil baby nephew. Lotsa hugs and kisses to the boy - he amuses me in so many ways, and he's such a little charmer it amazes me. I'm just wondering how my sis and my bro-in-law are gonna handle him when he grows a little bigger and starts going to school. He'd be flirting with all the girls and doing random naughty things! CUUUUTE.

Went over to my sister's place afterwards to hang out and chill a bit before meeting Yide for a midnight movie, ate a fantabulous IKEA dinner cooked up by Alvin's mom and played Midnight Club on Alvin's PS3 for a while. I am now certified as a road hazard. Anyone or anything who comes in my way on the roads (when or if I ever get my license) will become roadkill. But the game was so awesome - the way I like racing games to be :D

Public Enemies: 2 words - don't bother. I liked the ending but it's not worth waiting the 2 or so hours out before that to get to the damn end. The pace was damnnnn slow and it was just torture especially if you're watching the midnight show. But the company made it soooo much better so no regrets there :D

Aaahhh it's been a really long day/week so I'd better get all the rest I can to recharge for the weekend ahead. Hopefully next week'll be less chiong and more sleep!

Time won't let me go

2009-07-29T01:56:00.002+08:00

I can't keep up with the momentum of the world...

Were the world mine

2009-07-28T22:57:00.002+08:00

Met Jaslyn up for a really late dinner today (God don't even get me started on why I've been having late dinners) and as usual, semi-emo talk over food and dessert. At this rate, I'm really gonna turn into a ball. So much for all the weight I lost the past 2 months. :( NEED. TO. CONTROL.

Aaaanyway, we were talking about the usual... Reminiscing about the past - the good, the bad and the ugly (ha ha). It's funny how much things've changed. And to be honest, for some really weird reason, the past 2 years have been a blur to me. I've come to realise that I don't have any vivid memories of poly at all - even the 1 year I spent attached to the "love of my life". Everything just suddenly feels so unfamiliar, as if all that was never a part of my life at all.

Man, I'm trrrrrippin' - or maybe I'm just stuck in the wonderful year of 06. The last vivid school memory I have is of VJ and that's pretty much the end of it. It's pretty sad cause I don't know where the hell the past 2 years in poly went; I guess that's when I started being tired of a lot of things, in the process forgetting to remember the good times. I don't know...

Ahh depressing! My memory is really failing me in more ways than one. Oh welllll! K time to let this old brain rest and blitz some jewels!

One door shuts and another door opens

2009-07-27T12:51:00.002+08:00

Now Playing:
Suede - Untitled... Morning

I'm really beginning to think that this space is becoming more and more dispensible. Hardly have the time nor the motivation to think up an entry these days. Well, I'm gonna make the effort now then, since I'm having an off day to make up for Saturday's Singapore Idol shoot.

Work: Great as usual - nothing much to blog about. Bad days mainly consist of me being way too tired from sleeping at 4 or 5am on the previous night.

---

Choices to be made once again. I'm thinking of getting a 17" Macbook Pro for editing and all that, hopefully will be able to get jobs from Zach or something after my internship ends, earn a little side cash and build up my portfolio... But it's a whopping 3k and I'm not sure if my parents can really afford buying me a notebook that expensive right now. So I'm thinking, should I make a deal with my mom and let her sell the piano (which'll fetch about 4k) but let me use the money to buy my Macbook Pro? ...

Tough choice. So many things I wanna do - I really wanna get into this editing thing, but at the same time, I wanna get my diploma in piano so I'd have something to fall back on if things don't work out well for me.

Sigh... Why does it always have to be one or the other? And what if... I sell the piano, I get my Macbook, but I don't get to do all the editing shit that I wanna do? What then?

Damn all these choices, I'm way too jaded now to keep making them. Everytime I decide to do something, I'd wonder where I'd be right now if I'd chosen to do something else, and that's where all the regret comes in. (Although I must say I've surprisingly been pretty happy with all the choices I've made so far.)

I'll need to give this laptop-piano thing some more thought, but I'm running out of time. 2 weeks more and the uni people start school, and that's where I'm gonna get my Macbook pro. Urrgghhh.

Stay close, don't go

2009-07-20T03:43:00.002+08:00

If I miss you this much now, what am I going to do when you're gone for 6 months in September?

---

Looks like I'm gonna have trouble waking up tomorrow again... Hello to a new week of panda eyes then.

Well, hopefully I'll have truffle fries to look forward to. And August, please come soon. This shoot is already annoying the hell outta me and it's only been day 2.

Between you and I

2009-07-19T02:47:00.003+08:00

The past week was amazing -

Late night suppers, late night drives around nowhere and everywhere, chilling and drinking at House@Dempsey followed by Zouk last night... Not to mention work's been kind to me too. It just sucks how I've to leave OAP in September, after getting closer to the producers ): And not forgetting, I won't be on shoots with my favourite sound guy anymore (who's going overseas for 6 months in September omfg can die)!

We'll see how all that goes I guess.

Life's been pretty good to me I must say. Never really thought I'd ever get over him, but I did, and I moved on pretty fast for my normal standards, too. I guess God heard my prayers haha. But, other than divine intervention, I am eternally grateful to all my friends for helping me through when I was at my lowest low.

Thank you, even though there was a period of weirdness between us 2 weeks ago. Thanks for being understanding, and I guess, just for being there. I'm not promising anything, but we'll see how things go ;)

In other news, ah mah's in the hospital again. Sigh, I really hope she's okay. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her - I don't even dare think of it. But still, we must prepare ourselves for what may come I suppose.

Life and it's eccentricities.

Sounds of laughter, shades of life

2009-07-12T14:07:00.007+08:00

Last night was... to say the least, WHOA.

$200 well spent on the party package at Acid Bar which included a bottle of champagne (which I hate to death, not an appreciator of wine or anything that tastes remotely close to that), 1 bottle of hard liquor of our choice, 2 mixers and 2 side dishes. OMG THE POLENTA CHICKEN WAS SO GOOD!!!

But the best part was still the company - mayyyjorrr thanks to Jaslyn, Benny, Ee Loong and Sidney (although you were sleeping towards the end of the night...) ♥♥♥

Thanks Benny, Lel & Jaslyn for taking care of me when I was puking my butt off at the table, into the ice bucket and random glasses because I couldn't make it to the toilet. HAHAHA. Thanks for walking out with me to go meet Amin just to make sure I'd be safe (: It was such a great night, although I really must drink less next time - or maybe just drink slowly and not tah anything.

Even though I really felt like shit puking last night, I miss it already. The retarded pictures we took when we were all red like monkey's backside, laughing like crazy at I-can't-even-remember-what, and singing along to 53A (omgggg the female singer, think her name's Sara or something, SINGS SOOOOOO WELL) and so much more... I love you guys, even more than I can say :D

Can't wait for pictures to be up... Hope there aren't any of me when I was wasted!

One step forward and two steps back

2009-07-08T23:00:00.004+08:00

Why does everything have to lead to SOMETHING?
Why can't people just hang out, be friends and just chill?

Why? It's not rocket science.

God - you need to take a chill pill. My life isn't THAT boring. You know what, fuck this shit I'm so sick of it.

Even the man in the moon disappeared, somewhere in the stratosphere

2009-07-08T00:20:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry,

I'm just not ready to let anything happen yet.

So she packs her bags, calls a cab and the world smiles

2009-07-05T03:22:00.003+08:00

Chillin' with Jaslyn & Gladys for the longest time possible
NDP rehearsal (thanks Ben Wong for getting us good seats even though we were probably the 3 most unenthusiastic people there hahaha)
FIREWORKS OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
Dinner

Beer
Supper
Slow drive home - through the scary dark road at Old Tampines Road. And for some reason, everytime I pass by that stretch at night, I think about all the ghost stories that the army boys tell me, and scare myself even more. :/ (And for the 100th time, thanks Amin!)

I've been wayyyyy too lazy to blog properly... When I have the time and energy la huh! Been coming home at 2am/3am the past few weekends, TIRED. But satisfied (:

Brighter than sunshine

2009-07-04T00:28:00.002+08:00

Slept at 5.30am
Lunch with Nicole @ Coffee Club
Walking around Parkway (bought 2 tops from Cotton On for $20!)
Dinner with Nicole, her mom and her brother @ Tung Lok at Chinese Swimming Club
Ultimatum
Rot rot rot rot rot rot rot

Ahhh yes.
This is the life.

Can't wait for tomorrow & Sunday :D
I could do this forever

And we'll go into the city, into the light

2009-07-03T03:07:00.003+08:00

Wow I almost forgot what suppers felt like! It's really been too long since the last time I had a proper conversation over supper with a friend - I actually miss that feeling (:

Thanks Amin! 'Twas nice bitching about random things/people at 1am in the morning over chicken wings, fries and ice cream. And, at the airport too - so many memories, all the way back from 2006... Ah, but I shan't start on that haha.

Wish I could go on more of these late night drives...

Here, there, everywhere!

2009-07-02T01:20:00.003+08:00

Super proud of the Prison Break trailer I cut from scratch!! (Despite it not being able to air because PB for tomorrow has been pre-empted - MAJOR BUMMER.) Think I'm gonna upload it on facebook just to share my hidden talent with the world. Hahaha shamelezz.

Anywayyyyy, talking to Amin (the sound guy I've worked with a few times on trailer shoots) about getting another tattoo and he's recommending me his artist (: Good friends = good price, plus that guy's work is pretty damn amazing so... AWESOME!!

Suddenly, I lost my train of thought. Happens more and more these days - it must be the FCP. Sitting there looking at FCP all day long is mind numbing, quite literally. Oh but I love my job <3

And it's way past my bedtime, I don't know how the heck I'm going to survive tomorrow. Then again, IT'S THE LAST DAY OF MY WORKING WEEK BITCHES!!!

Quietly we fade to grey

2009-06-29T22:11:00.003+08:00

On my way home today, I saw a little girl dressed up in a cute old school raincoat, complete with a pair of wellingtons and a kid-sized umbrella, stomping about in random puddles of water while her mother sat and watched - it was such an endearing moment.

How is it that when I was that little girl, all I ever wanted to do was to grow up?

It's just the rain talking.

Red like monkey's backside

2009-06-28T00:39:00.002+08:00

Fish & Co.
Transformers
Loof @ Odeon Tower

---

Transformers made Conran want to fly even more.
Megan Fox is so fucking hot.
Shia LaBeouf isn't very cute at all.

Mojitoes at Loof - not nice to drink.
Pictures taken: One.

I am red like monkey's backside.

The guys are ORD-ing in like, 4-5 months?!?!?!

---

INCOHERENT.

My head's all messed up and he knows just what to say

2009-06-19T23:40:00.002+08:00

I think I've experienced the widest range of emotion anyone could ever feel in a lifetime in the past one month or so. Don't exactly know if it's a good or bad thing, but I feel like I've grown so much just by going through everything (: Couldn't have done it without my friends and 2 members of my family (Karen + Alvin, thank you guys soooo much. Love you guys).

Anyway, fresh start from now on.

No more living in the past, hoping for things that will never happen, and most importantly, no more crying for someone who isn't crying for me! Gee whiz, I should've realised this much earlier. Haha. Anyway to the 2 Bs: I can only say I love you <3

---

On another note, (finally not talking about heartbreak and shit)
iPhone 3G or iPhone 3G S?!?!?!

Nobody nobody but choo

2009-06-16T13:23:00.002+08:00

Watching the video of the Thai high school boys dancing... Again. Just to pretend I was still at Benny's house with the 3 other baffoons, laughing at the random-est things, some of which weren't even funny.

I only have 5 days of "holiday" left. God, time passes so fast I can't even keep track of it all. Speaking of which, I was supposed to be at Far East 23 minutes ago haha.

Aiya so bored la I don't even know what the whole purpose of this entry is. Maybe after all the rubbish all I really wanted to say was: I miss Saturday+Sunday :(

17 again, for 20 hours

2009-06-14T21:12:00.003+08:00

It was fun feeling 17 again for 20 hours last night. BBQ at Darren's awesome place, then drinking by Benny's pool, then squeezing onto a queen-sized bed with 3 snoring dudes, then lunch at Katong Laksa. I wish it never ended... Wish I didn't have to come back to this empty house, wish I didn't feel so empty inside, wishing for so many other things I've been wishing for the past few weeks.

It really feels like a nightmare I can't get out of no matter where I run. I hate how I've been okay for a week and suddenly BAM I'm right back down at the bottom.

Never mind. I shall put this one-week break to good use!
God, I just hope you're on my side.

Straight to the valley of the great divide

2009-06-12T22:36:00.003+08:00

Work's out for a week and my 9-day R&R plan starts tonight.

Gran's not doing too well at the hospital and it's constantly bugging me. I've already lost someone in the last month, I can't afford to go through losing another person... Especially if it's permanent. Life can really bite when it wants to - what the fuck is up with that man, honestly? To the big guy up there: I believe in something called moderation.

I need to escape.
Is it so hard for you to be my friend? You're hardly ever there anymore...

As the needle slips into the run out groove

2009-06-12T00:19:00.004+08:00

DEAD TIRED.

Yesterday:
9am - Start work
6.30pm - Ray's shoot for Sports@SG trailer
1am - WRAP

KNN I've never worked a single 16-hour day in my life. Running around in Mediacorp in the dead of the night didn't make anything easier. The place is a fucking nightmare and everything looks/sounds/feels a hundred times creepier after 8.30pm.

The consolation I got today?

Going to work late :D

Baby it's fact, the way black is black and blue is just blue

2009-06-09T00:24:00.003+08:00

Eilania's relatively new dog, Bubbles, fucked my foot today.
Now, I feel so bloody violated.

---

In other news, swimming + tanning + karaoke + food + best friends = the life. Can't wait for the one week "holiday" next week to get my life back on track. Butter should be pretty exciting! :D

The way I am

2009-06-06T23:20:00.003+08:00

If you were falling, then I would catch you
You need a light, I'd find a match
Cause I love the way you say good morning
And you take me the way I am

If you are chilly, here take my sweater
Your head is aching, I'll make it better
Cause I love the way you call me baby
And you take me the way I am

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair
Sew on patches to all you tear
Cause I love you more than I could ever promise
And you take me the way I am

---

I've come a long way since 3 weeks ago

Proud to say
I've made it

I'm almost there.

They say the Nile used to run from east to west

2009-06-02T21:38:00.004+08:00

Well, they used to say many other things, like all the stuff about always being there yada yada. Which, eventually, all turn out to be bullshit. But Alvin taught me to live, love and learn - and that I shall.

---

Singing a song with your feet on the dashboard
The cigarette streaming into the night
These are the things I want to remember
I want to remember you by

Run neon tiger, there's a lot on your mind

2009-06-01T01:26:00.002+08:00

Oh yeah there's a lot on my mind alright.

One moment I'm fine and dandy, the next I'm a mess outside my best friend's house and a few moments later I'm pretty much fine and dandy again. Wah, this whole bipolaric (no such word right I bet) mood swing thing is enough to drive me nuts. I need to quit school quit work quit life and just disappear into nothingness. That should pretty much ease my pain.

Got a mani-pedi today for 55 bucks. Felt no pinch at all - that's what heartache does to you - nothing ever feels that bad anymore, not even blowing 50 bucks on nails. Next up: dye hair, thread brows, new clothes. And hopefully after all that I will feel as if I'm pressing the 'Reset' button of my life and start over, this time with my mind in the right place. Right now I'm all over the place it's pissing me off. All for a cause that's not even worth it. Sigh. GOD, WHY.

A hardcore week is coming up with Singapore Idol auditions on Saturday and Sunday. I hope I'll be so damn fucking tired I only have time to eat sleep work. Hopefully no time for bad shit in my life. I've had enough of that.

And right now I'm done talking about it. It's been a long time since I prayed every night. Last 2 weeks, I was praying for someone else. Now, I'm praying for myself. GOOD PROGRESS.

Where were my senses? I left them all behind

2009-05-27T22:12:00.002+08:00

Drowning myself in work was working... until Saturday.

Sometimes I really wonder what the hell God is trying to do with me. How is this part of a bigger plan etc etc? I don't see it now and I probably never will. Urgh I wanna be as strong as I think I can be, but it's just so fucking hard to pretend like everything's okay when they're not.

The only bright side: I have my friends and I am only 20.
(Haha, I say that now but just wait. In 24 hours I'll be right back where I started.)

Holding out for a hero

2009-05-24T12:38:00.002+08:00

Just when I thought it could only get better from here, it got about a hundred times worse.

Right now, I wish I was:
1) drunk 24/7
2) drowning in trailers and menuboards
3) drunk 24/7

Omg I need to be drunk.
WHERE IS MY HERO. WHY ISN'T THERE A HERO TO COME SAVE ME WHEN I'M DOING A SUPERHERO COMBO?! GOT SO MANY HEROES BUT NOBODY WANTS TO SAVE ME WAHLAU.

I think I'm bipolar.

That's the way we get by

2009-05-22T23:58:00.001+08:00

Ironically, my job is what's keeping me alive.

Stuck in a moment

2009-05-17T13:46:00.003+08:00

Wow it's been a week since I last blogged! This place is steadily getting deader and deader and deader. But it's not like anyone important reads it so I don't really care la.

Been way too tired and too depressed/confused/angry/-insert all the negative emotions you can think of- to blog. Life is at its worst and just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it did. And now the worstest of the worst part is that I have to slap on a smile and pretend like I'm okay. But it's fine... I will live through it and maybe, things will change and be even better for us than before. Who know? Might or might not happen - I'm not getting my hopes up.

Work's been busy and I've been cutting trailers for Survivor. One more due on Monday and the whole survivor season will be over! And omg, I feel such an awesome sense of achievement whenever I see my trailers on TV!!! I really am quite proud of myself :D Hopefully I'd be able to drown myself in work for the next God-knows-how-long-this-hell-will-last until I'm finally able to feel any happiness at all. Right now, not happening for me.

Yup k just thinking about it is making me miserable. It's sad to admit it but, it's true when they say "People always leave."

Lesson learnt and the wheels keep turning

2009-05-10T12:02:00.002+08:00

One bad dream after another - not exactly the best way to wake up on a wet Sunday morning. But I sorta saw it coming, after all the shit that went down yesterday. On the up side, I was so _______ (insert unpleasant feeling) yesterday I didn't have the appetite to eat anything and conveniently skipped dinner (:

I shall try skipping dinner again, just this time, HOPEFULLY, I won't be _______ (insert unpleasant feeling again).

In a bid to cheer myself up, I've been listening to some light, jazzy Christmas songs. So far, it's not really working yet. Aftermath of several bad dreams in a row, sigh. Looking forward to swimming with the Nicole, and possibly chillin' and hanging out with Drea and Lania. I think I've been so into that one relationship I've neglected the rest, so I'm gonna give myself a break and just, be the way I was before.

Just wish I did things differently. I feel the regrets pouring in right now.

I can't stay

2009-05-09T17:13:00.005+08:00

It shouldn't be this hard.

---

Sometimes I wonder: where would I be now if I'd stayed in VJ?

Weeter weeter 2

2009-05-05T01:28:00.002+08:00

Came home not too long ago from the Star Trek premiere and I must say, much to my surprise, it's honestly way better than I thought it would be - but I'll leave this story for another day. I'm just way to tired right now and there's friggin' work at 9am tomorrow. Nabeh.

Oh yeah, everyone should watch Star Trek. Even I, who isn't into action or sci-fi at all, loved it. And it's got a wicked sick cast. LOVE IT.

Perfect symmetry

2009-05-02T00:53:00.004+08:00

Happy 21st birthday Goose!!! (Btw your cake very nice hehe.)

It was nice having baby over at night, looking at pictures on facebook together, making jokes, laughing at stupid faces, lying on the bed and talking about what we want to do in future. These things always make me feel as if we're already living together, and I like that feeling.

Anyway, can't wait for our pay to come - I need a short getaway. And the easiest (and cheapest) is just to get a hotel room for 1 or 2 nights at a boutique hotel and pretend I'm in another country living it up like I should. Crossing my fingers it happens man! I've wanted to check out the New Majestic Hotel since 2006 cause my group's PW featured New Majestic Hotel but I never really got to actually see or experience it. From the pictures it looks like one helluva boutique hotel man, all swanky and modern, plus the theme rooms are like, WAH DAMN NICE. Aiya but I better not get my hopes up, New Majestic is damn $$expensive$$ :(

The mothership is off on a holiday in Batam (even my MOTHER is more socially active than I am.. That says a lot. Sigh) so I can really do whatever the hell I want cause pops pretty much gives me all the freedom in the world and it's relaxing not having to hear someone nagging about hair on the floor or unmade sheets. (:

Wow this is probably the longest entry I've written in a long time. And now, it's just getting tiring. I feel so old now that I'm always working. If not, I'm busy feeling tired. Speaking of which, it's about time I head to bed. Lala-land calls!

I'll meet you tonight on top of the world

2009-04-30T22:06:00.003+08:00

I was home by 630 today, which was really weird cause I would never ever EVER end work that early. Ever. But it's a special day today - not because it's the last day of a short working week AGAIN hehehehe but because I went for the Polo Boys shoot!

Don't think I can say much (company policies yada yada) so in here's my day in a few words:
1. Eye candy
2. Hot bods
3. Pretty boy (note BOY not boys)
4. I was Michelle Chia's PA

And while they were in the pool enjoying the wonders of water, I was out above water sweating and feeling annoyingly sticky. The best part was, I could've gone swimming too (because my boss is the bomb) BUT I'M HAVING MY PERIOD SO CANNOT. Irritating like fuck.

Might wanna swim soon, anyone wanna swim with me???

Plop! goes the weasel

2009-04-28T23:59:00.004+08:00

My phone dropped into the toilet bowl today.

Good news: There was no shit no pee nothing. It dropped before I could even sit down.

Bad news: Its life is hanging by a thread and I have 1 whole month more to go before I can upgrade my plan. Jialat.

You spin my head right round right round.

2009-04-26T17:38:00.004+08:00

Wine Bar @ Zouk last night:

1 Jagerbomb + 1 Mango Kamikaze + 2 Apple Shooters + 1 Justice League + 1 Mai Tai = Puking 6 times (twice in a plastic bag in Faris' car, twice outside Caltex at TKGS, twice at home) and experiencing 10 times more gravitational force than usual.

Lesson learnt: Suffering through the night for 2 hours of high is not worth it - especially if your friend is hell-bent on getting pissed drunk on her birthday.

That said, sitting by the river near Zouk before the madness started was really quite relaxing. Nicole, I hope you had a great birthday despite all the shit (:

The magic that is Friday

2009-04-24T12:25:00.003+08:00

IT'S FINALFUCKINGLY FRIDAY!!! I've been waiting for this day all week long. I had 12 hours of undisturbed rest and it feels damn good. Plus! Plans with friendz (okay actually friend) later in the evening, and ham and bacon sandwich for lunch. THIS IS THE LIFE. I could really get used to this 4-day week thing.

And to be honest, I've nothing to blog about already, hahaha.

I AM GONNA HAVE MYSELF AN AWESOME WEEKEND WHOOHOO!!!

The only trouble is - gee whiz - I'm dreamin' my life away

2009-04-20T23:46:00.004+08:00

Life is really tiring right now.

Not because it sucks - work's great, time flies and usually hours fly by without me even noticing. But it's also hard to maintain the whole social-life-after-hours thing. The moment I step out of the office I feel a whole load lift off my shoulders but at the same time feel the physical and mental effects of the 9 or more so hours of work I've been slogging at before. If people ask me out I tend to be too tired to even want to hang out. Woe is work. Oh, and it doesn't help when I'm forced to cut short the time the boyfriend because there's work the next day.

I wished we were rich asses with parents who couldn't care less about us - we'd be living in a condo by ourselves sporting some DIY interior. Haha.

Yah la, it's not going to happen in a million years, but a working girl can dream.

If I'm to fall, would you be there to applaud or would you hide behind them all?

2009-04-18T22:22:00.003+08:00

I have never appreciated the weekends more. Work's just so tiring.

Don't get me wrong, I'm really counting my lucky stars - I've got a swell job cause my colleagues are awesome and I constantly have things to do so it helps pass the time. Time's never crawling when I'm working so thats a major plus, but it's also really stressful and confusing sometimes so it tires me out quite a bit.

Anyway, I visited Matty and Mea today. And omg I've been working so much I think I forgot to mention Mea was born on 11th April, Sunday! She's puny and really sweet, she's only like a week old and she's smiling to everyone already. Anyway the kiddies were cute, Matty being his usual random baby self. I hope he likes the new Mr Daydream book I bought him some time ago!

That was pretty much the highlight of my weekend haha. I doubt I'll have any plans tomorrow cause... because. I might just go out for lunch or dinner or something. I need to live for myself a little bit more.

Monday's slowly creeping up on me so I need to take tomorrow to cultivate some good chi for a busy week ahead. (:

It's been a while

2009-04-16T21:16:00.002+08:00

Work's busy but at least time flies. (Because we just have soooo much to do.)

And to be honest, that's it for my life. I haven't been doing much of anything else. Like Imz says, when you start work you become a slave to society. For my case, I'm a slave to the media industry.

Oh, and it's weird now cause when I watch trailers on Channel 5, I actually know who did them...

We're slaves to society

2009-04-13T23:26:00.002+08:00

One word:

TIRED.

This is gonna be a long 6 months.

She's electric, can I be electric too?

2009-04-12T00:51:00.003+08:00

It's an hour into Sunday, the last 24 hours of holidays before slogging our guts out for SIP. I'm still worried, but I'm gonna try my very very best to look at the bright side - maybe I'll actually have fun at work, making new friends (ha ha ha), accomplishing things I never thought I would accomplish (hopefully) etc.

Here's hoping to good days ahead and possibly a Pass with commendation...? Haha we'll see. I really hope this'll be a good experience for me. Come to think of it, I'm not sure now if I actually wanna be in the media industry even though I've always talked about wanting to work in production. Maybe this isn't my calling, considering I haven't actually been doing well at school. The only thing I came the closest to an A was for film so... I don't know. I wish I could just have like a column in a newspaper like Carrie Bradshaw and write movie reviews all day long. I wouldn't mind since I got A for most of my journal entries hahaha.

Sigh, nervous talk. I'm just gonna stop thinking now and enjoy the day tomorrow with baby. And I hope my sister delivers her baby soon; she's been in labour for about 21 hours now.

The grass is greener where it rains.

2009-04-10T21:35:00.002+08:00

Happy Easter everyone! It doesn't really hold any special meaning to me but it's a public holiday so I guess a holiday from anything's good (even though I'm on holiday anyway so it doesn't really make a difference). Hope you guys had yourselves a great time, I did!

Went to Vivo to just walk around and relax, but it wasn't entirely relaxing because it was flooded with people. Baby and I kinda forgot it was a public holiday and it was Vivo. Anyway I bought OK! Magazine today and read it over hot chocolate at Gloria Jean.

SIP @ Mediacorp is really scaring me big time; I feel so unprepared. Both to work for 6 months straight (I've never stayed at a job for more than 2 months) and to keep up with the expectations I set for myself (and they're pretty high because I'm assuming the people who gave me this job probably expect a lot out of me as well). I just pray from the bottom of my heart I don't screw up. Can't help but get the jitters, plus the thought of the boyfriend having irregular shifts and weekends @ work worries me to no end. I'm a worrywart, and if it concerns my boyfriend it gets amplified about a hundred times. Sigh.

Well, wish me luck with SIP then. I'll try my best to blog about everything other than boring work shit but I doubt there'll be anything interesting other than work to talk about anyway so don't count on it.

Here we go...

Starting over

2009-04-05T17:02:00.003+08:00

I've been getting comments about my blog being emo, but nooooooo it is not! The last 2 posts just happen to sound emo, I didn't actually feel as bad as it sounds haha.

Anyway, yes I'm starting over. It's not another emo potato post la. My computer is turning over a new leaf. The motherfucker crashed on me 2 days ago and at first I was calm and composed, thinking it's nothing big. BUT NO. Apparently stupid Windows was corrupted so I had to use the emergency recovery package that came along with the laptop. And fucking Fujitsu, some of the software drivers in the recovery pack were OUTDATED. As in, they aren't Vista-compatible. Urgh. So I got really pissed off and there were just a lot of problems la!

Right now my computer is still (hopefully) on its road to full recovery, just that the Windows Updates thing is pissing the hell out of me. They refuse to download properly and keep asking me to restart so that they can install properly but it still fucks up. Windows is a crock of shit man.

Anyway, I've got so much to do. Oh I lost everything in my C drive but thank God I was smart enough to back up my work the moment my mom gave me my external hard disk. I am an extremely strong believer in backing up now, because Fujitsus clearly let their owners down a lot.

Just, be.

2009-04-03T20:03:00.002+08:00

I'd really like to talk about it, but it never turns out the way I hope it would, ever.
So today, I'm just gonna take a break, chill out and sort things out with myself.

It takes a little time to go from water into wine

2009-03-31T02:49:00.002+08:00

I was just thinking about friendship in general, and I realised that a lot of my friendships have deteriorated (is this even appropriate to describe a dying friendship?) over the past few years. Some because we've simply drifted apart, going about our own lives and stopped talking, some because we haven't bothered making the effort even though we promised to, and some... well, I don't even know why.

It's weird how friendships can change almost overnight without you knowing the reason why. It sucks, yeah, but I figured: if they can't be bothered to talk about it, then they can't be bothered about it at all, so why should I? I'm not about to immerse myself in a one-way friendship and make myself miserable, worrying about something I can't do anything about.

Haha I just realised that all of the above mentioned sound quite depressing but I'm really not.

I was just thinking about my friends, being thankful for the ones who've cared and made the effort, and deciding (after much convincing from the boyfriend) that those who don't try, don't matter.

It's a matter of fact, it's as simple as that

2009-03-30T03:31:00.003+08:00

Baby drew this chocolate heart with our leftover chocolate from our very fancy haagen dazs chocolate fondue dinner. It's been 10 months and my, time flies. This is by far my most successful relationship, not to mention the longest. And happiest. And saddest.

The best and worst 10 months of my life (:
I love you baby!

For something to believe in

2009-03-26T17:08:00.003+08:00

I would sell my soul for the cheapest Oasis tickets (this is desperation because I'm not a regular concert-goer but OASIS?!?!?!), but I'm afraid my soul's not even worth 48 bucks. :(

Change

2009-03-25T19:35:00.000+08:00

could really do me some good.

I wish I could make sense of what we do

2009-03-25T03:32:00.005+08:00

I've been breaking my resolution. No surprise there; I don't even think it really mattered that much to me. I knew I wanted to eat and I knew I would eat but I guess I just wanted to make myself feel better... and possibly, skinnier. But okay, I will really try not to eat late at night and hopefully fix some exercise in somewhere if anybody would even bother entertaining my requests.

Just had home-made spaghetti (with sauce from a Prego jar) and unfortunately, overestimated my hunger and made a tad too much. And someone tell me why every sound gets amplified a hundred times more at night? It's annoying because I have to move so damn slowly so I don't wake the momster up. It stresses me out more than it should. :/

Spaghetti + Sex and the City + no one else but myself surprisingly isn't killing me. Is there really a certain person or a group of people one simply can't live without? The only realistically logical answer I can think of would be friends. Other than that, I'm honestly not too sure. Sigh.

This is just midnight depression talking.

Turn out the lights and what are you left with?

2009-03-23T02:00:00.002+08:00

I was tired 2 hours ago, even drifted off to sleep. Now I'm online, pretty wide awake and still a bit annoyed because I can't seem to fall back asleep.

I've been clicking on the same links over and over again on facebook - shows how fucking bored and sian I am. I wish they'd put up the new episode of The Girls of Hedsor Hall already, then at least I'd have something to watch.

Being alone online isn't fun. Then again, it's been quite like that the entire night.

It's a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea

2009-03-21T21:34:00.005+08:00

Today, I saw the prettiest rainbow.

And that's all I needed. (:

The world ain't half as bad as they paint it to be

2009-03-20T23:36:00.008+08:00

Left: Forever Friends mug
Right: Precious Moments mousepad (because my mouse is being such a bitch)

Presents from Joel for my 20th birthday; got me pretty damn excited. I finally have a cup with a cover! I need one cause I always take forever to finish a cup of water and my mom's always complaining about how dust gets in when I leave it there for a long time. Now, no reason for her to nag at me for leaving my cup unattended! :D

Dessert @ Max Brenner's Chocolate Bar was fucking awesome! I had a cup of Amercian Hot Chocolate (Dark) and it was orrrrgasmic. Thick and bittersweet with 5 (or was it 6?) semi-melted marshmallows floating on top of a sea of dark chocolate. Mmmmmm. I'd go there again in a heartbeat.

Nice meeting Joel and Darel after a few months of non-talking since Joel's afk 90% of the time and Darel doesn't even come online. Sometimes I find it amazing how we still manage to have things to talk about despite not talking or seeing each other for the longest time. I guess when you're good friends you never run out of things to say. (:

Life's finally starting to look like rainbows and unicorns - I've really been waiting for this day for so, so long. It's days like these that make realise going through all that hell was worth the while. Although, when I was going through the shit I pretty much wanted to kill myself every day.

Ahh life and its games.

Let us die or let us live forever

2009-03-20T01:46:00.002+08:00

Yet another day of idle nothingness, not that I'm complaining. People like Vanessa are dying with so much to do day after day after day, it probably doesn't even feel like a holiday.

Other than 2 rounds of trial driving with baby and a huge huge supper, nothing much else really happened today so I don't have anything constructive to blog about. I must, however, reiterate on the point of the huge huge supper. I'm going to gain all the weight I've lost in less than half the time I took to lose it if I continue gorging myself past midnight. So right here right now, is a resolution I hope to keep, at least until SIP starts. (Because then, I wouldn't even be feeling awake enough to eat haha.)

I shall not eat past 12am anymore, no matter how tempting the food/smells may seem. I will only allow myself to eat if I haven't already done so in the day, or in extremely small proportions.

Good luck with that man. I can already feel the determination slip.

It's like running away with the wind in my face, like flying

2009-03-19T02:49:00.003+08:00

We ought to have more days like this.

I woke up early today - ample time to get myself psyched up for some boardgames at Mind cafe with the chestnuts (I feel slightly embarrassed for saying this) - which really made me feel good cause it's been a long time since I woke up at a normal time. Oddly, though, I'm hardly nodding off. Maybe it's because of the adrenaline rush I got from the series of events today.

Mind Cafe was, needless to say, fun because... Well because it's Mind Cafe and we always have fun there! Sleeping Queens and the funky edition of Taboo are my favourites at the moment. The best part was it didn't even cost a bomb. The walk around PS while waiting for Nicole to pick me up was nice too, we window shopped, oohing and aahing at all the pretty papers and other scrapbook making stuff at Made With Love. I guess Denise had the best time there, for reasons I will not mention, hahaha.

Fish slice noodles @ Bedok = SEDAP! (I'm hoping I used it correctly!) Do people even say "sedap" nowadays?

I've just realised that spending time with the boyfriend is really sinful. We almost always end up eating, which is really wtf with regards to my weight. :( I'm gonna grow fat and die fat lor. I don't wanna die a fat bitch! ):<

Resolutions are starting to come to mind, but I doubt I'd be able to keep them, and even if I do, not for long. This is why I hate myself: no determination whatsoever to keep to my resolutions. I give in to temptations almost immediately which is the worst habit. Oh well!

The best/worst/most interesting (depending on how the situation is interpreted) thing that happened tonight was the drama. It's funny, I love it but I hate it. Love it when I'm watching it and hate it when I'm either caught in the middle or indirectly somehow very weirdly involved. Glad the most part of it is resolved... or so I hope.

Gossip Girl's really starting to suck so bad. They have evidently run out of interesting plots.

Suspended clear in the sky are the words that we sing in our dreams

2009-03-17T21:01:00.003+08:00

Today, I feel like a nobody.

---

Come on Baby Blue
Shake up your tired eyes
The world is waiting for you

Water and a flame

2009-03-16T21:07:00.002+08:00

I got a pleasant surprise from baby today - he called me at 9 or so in the morning asking if he could come over and sleep, and that led to us spending one entire day together! In his words, "it felt like we were living together." Hehehehe I'm smiling like some lovesick fool now. -Insert retarded face-

Looking forward to lunch at Clarke Quay tomorrow, if it even happens! $15 nett for a 2-3 course meal, damn worth it right! And some of the restaurants are quite atas also, can't wait mannnnnn wanna eat eat eat eat eat eat eat.

K I'm gonna do some self-entertainment now, tata for now!

2009-03-16T04:40:00.002+08:00

Wah lan eh, I need to pee so fucking badly but I can't cause my mom's still not asleep yet (yes psycho monster mom who doesn't seem to ever sleep) so I can't go out of my room, because then she'll know I'm not asleep which will lead to further complications.

Oh my fucking cheebye I need to pee soooooo bad I cannot think of the appropriate swear words. Putting sad/angry faces here just will not suffice.

I JUST NEED TO PEE THE CRAP OUT!!!

Shimmy shimmy quarter turn

2009-03-15T16:57:00.006+08:00

The little handsome one came over today and, no surprise, brought smiles onto everyone's faces. I envy the way Matty looks at things - in their purest form (as he knows it), without a single spot of judgment whatsoever. It's either he likes it or he doesn't, black or white. Nothing's ever grey; he's not even afraid of anything. Other than thunder and vacuum cleaners because of the noise they make hahahaha.

I think that's what I admire most in kids: their innocence and their simplicity. And because of that, I'm gonna enjoy my time with the bugger before he turns into a teenage monster and loses all of that innocence. Haha.

By the way, he thinks dancing = stamp your feet furiously on the ground followed by random squatting motions and an occasional lifting up of both hands. How can a human be so damn adorable? He honestly is the most endearing little boy I've ever come in contact with in my entire life. Wanna pinch his cheeks and squish 'im all over. RARGH.

He has also finally learnt how to kiss people on their cheek instead of biting them at random places. This one's turning into quite the charmer!

P.S. I am dying because I only slept for 5 hours. KNN seriously. *Froth and convulse*
P.P.S. For some reason, iTunes decided to get into the christmas mood and play Diana Krall's Winter Wonderland (amongst other miscellaneous christmas songs I'm not kidding I swear). Why can't it be Christmas every 2 months? I love going out during Chirstmas, listening to Christmas songs echoing all around. 9 more months to go!

You and the night and the music

2009-03-15T07:53:00.004+08:00

Alas, I am still awake! I know la my sleep cycle's getting more and more screwed up, and for today, I blame it on the teh peng I drank from supper at Jalan Kayu about... 5 or 6 hours ago.

I think it's the first time I've ever eaten supper with Nicole, and we should really go for supper more often. If I had to choose, supper'd be my favourite meal of the day, but it's not even an official meal. :( Orh lua after that made me wanna puke ever so slightly but hey, the orh lua at my place rocks socks so I'm cool with that. Plus I got to spend a little more time with baby! (:

Change of layout: once again not a work of mine but I'm just far too lazy. I'm not like that blog-crazy kid from secondary school who spent hours creating the perfect layout. Now I conveniently rip people off from blogskins.com and make a few changes accordingly and voila, something new to look at! I will, hopefully, find the inspiration and motivation to work some codes up myself someday... But not now.

Watching Nigella: Forever Summer because I'm in the mood for food (just the looking part not the eating) and I especially love that season cause they feature awesome jazz shiz from like the 1940s and '50s, feels like I'm listening to a gramophone!

Think I'm gonna hit the pillz (pillow) soon so ttfn!

2009-03-09T02:51:00.002+08:00

Chocolate mood.

All I'm thinking about is chocolate and supper. I wanna eat comfort food, like some mash potato or a nice thick triple mushroom soup, and at the same time, I want to eat chocolate! Chocolate ice cream, chocolate fondue, hot chocolate, CHOCOLATE!!!

*Nom nom nom nom*

On to other things...
My brother asked me what I was gonna do this holiday and I have absolutely no idea. No one's free enough to hang out with me every day and staying at home's just gonna make me fat and bored. So yeah I don't know. The momster's pushing me to get a job and earn some kaching to fund my shopping but the thought of already having to work for the next 6 months is like, NO WAY I'M NOT GONNA WORK NOW.

I'll figure it out as I go along. I reckon the holidays will just fly by again, as always. I'm just gonna try really really hard to super treasure every moment of it now (:

And ohhh, new season of ANTM!!! Yay more TV!!!

2009-03-07T16:39:00.002+08:00

Approximately 5 and a half hours till my favourite fatty's back!!! Can't wait can't wait can't wait. I don't why we still put ourselves through these things when we clearly almost didn't survive the 9 days I was away in Taiwan and Hong Kong. I'm hoping we can save money throughout SIP and go on another holiday before the start of the last sem of our academic lives.

I hope the coach uncle drives at top speed... Then again Malaysia is damn fucking dangerous so I think I'd prefer him going a little slower than top speed and bringing my baby safely back home hahaha. It's so weird how my mom's so concerned about the boyfriend when I told her he was taking a night coach to Genting. She just kept going "AIYOOOO NIGHT COACH VERY DANGEROUS ONE YOU KNOW WHY HE TAKE NIGHT COACH?!?!" I honestly think she cares more about him than me, not that it bothers me much cause treating him nice = treating me nice to either way I benefit! :D

Oh I was awakened by the thunderstorm today. There was a madass storm outside man. I can't even begin to describe the wonder of being under a nice, thick comforter when it's pouring buckets. The lightning and thunder added to the atmosphere la. I felt so protected and it's honestly kickass weather to sleep in. But the thunder got the better of me cause I'm scared of loud sounds, like balloons bursting (or balloons in general whether they burst or not) and thunder. I think I sound like a dog...

Anyway, best be getting ready to go out soon. Can't wait for the ice cream part I can taste it in my mouth!

2009-03-07T04:25:00.002+08:00

So glad to be going out tomorrow/later! Staying home's just making me miss the big boy even more, it's horribleeee. Better yet, I'm gonna be meeting Baya, who probably is the only other person in the world that believes in my ability in becoming a pr******. That is such an embarrassing word at age 20.

There's way too much excitement brimming up right now cause 1) I can see my baby tomorrow night, after a long-enough wait and 2) I'm gonna meet Baya for dinnerrrr! I miss that bitch she annoys me 24/7 (vice versa haha) but she's just so precious. Hehe! We're going for dinner at Siglap and then ICE CREAM. I haven't eaten ice cream at Ice Cream Chefs in a long long time. I'm praying they have marshmallow fillings tomorrow.

Just to make myself really tired so I'd sleep, I'm gonna watch Project Runway until my eyes feel strained and tired. A bit of an extreme but desperate times call for desperate measurez.

Btw, daddy's sick :( I hope he gets better soon I don't like seeing him like that.

2009-03-06T03:29:00.001+08:00

I miss you so much baby :(

2009-03-06T00:36:00.002+08:00

I have finally turned 20... And surprisingly, I don't abhor it as much as I thought I would. Well I did but now I don't! In fact I haven't felt so excited in such a long time.

Well yeah a part of me's sad that my favourite (big) little boy isn't in Singapore to celebrate my birthday with me, but having all the time in the world to spend with my best friends is just as awesome as having him around.

Thanks Nicole, Lania and Andrea. You guys are the besttttttttt!!!!!! I loved eating al fresco at 1 Twentysix and playing mahjong and laughing about random stupid things. And the present! Holyyyyyy it's like you guys can read my freaking mind!!! 7 NAIL POLISH(ES) + STRAWBERRY SCENTED NAIL FILE + STRAWBERRY SCENTED NAIL POLISH REMOVER = AAHHH CAN DO 100000000!!!!

And even though the fine dining thing was expensive like fuck and I probably will never go back there just to eat ever again, I have to say: The food's really quite nice and surprisingly the small portions managed to fill us up. Except Eilania but an additional dessert did the trick (:

Mahjong was as usual fun with you guys, listening to everyone stressing and going "I can't win la!" then when the person who says that wins, the rest just shower her with swears and cusses in Hokkien. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

And even though that doesn't sound like a lot, it made my birthday perfect. Oh and Nicole's mini cooper is so cute and small and... cute! Nic, thanks for picking me up and sending me home too, I know it's damn inconvenient cause it's damn far from the world but you did so anyway. :D I love you!

Also, to all those who remembered: Thank you guys so much cause it means a lot to me, that people still remember an insignificant day like that haha. There's so much love going around today I don't know where to put it.

---

IT'S THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE, BITCHES!
I'm gonna rock my 20s now :D

2009-03-04T03:42:00.001+08:00

I am determined to be happy on my birthday. I am determined to be happy on my birthday. I am determined to be happy on my birthday.

Repeat until happy.

2009-03-02T06:04:00.002+08:00

Now Playing: Jet - Shine On

Can't sleep again, so... here I am, blogging at 6 in the morning when I've to be in school in approximately 7 hours. Wonder how I'm gonna wake up...

Can't wait to go to Page One with baby later (: Been a long time since the both of us went out, and we're actually going to town on Wednesday to celebrate my birthday! Thanks baby, I know you hate town haha.

I just watched Yes Man... yah la I'm very slow okay but it's only because I've never had the opportunity to catch it and since I'm an insomniac during the holidays I'll take the time to catch up on the movies from long ago!

Anyway happy to announce that my internet's back, brother did something to it not sure what but I'm glad it's back. Home's boring without internet and communicating via sms is just a chore. My phone's getting retarded I just don't even wanna touch it anymore.

2009-03-01T21:37:00.002+08:00

Congratu-fucking-lations to me for finding some internet around here!!! I'm going through my internetless phase once again :( That stupid starhub thing has corrupted my whole internet system and now I can't even connect. BRILLIANT. And my brother doesn't want to get it fixed, which is something I simply cannot fucking understand because, well, DON'T WE ALL NEED INTERNET?!

Fine. I will go call starhub and yell at them. It's the 2nd time the internet's been so majorly screwed up and I'm losing my patience with starhub. ):<

Otherwise, I'm still pretty happy and excited about the next few days cause baby promised to spend them with me before he goes off and right after it'll be my BIRTHDAY. Hee hee.

Okay I shall go do all the things I wanna do now before the internet's gone. Just in case you didn't know I'm tapping into an unsecured network so... yes. I wish this were my internet!

2009-02-28T21:10:00.002+08:00

My internet is being a bitch againnnnnn. Now I can't even surf the internet properly. I cannot surf at all! When I go to, for example, facebook, I'll be redirected to this MaxOnline Flexisurf page promoting some shitass new plan that starhub has come up with. It's ANNOYING marketing ok. Because no matter what url I put, I will be redirected to that page. Sneaky starhub scums.

So now, I am tapping into someone else's internet, again. I'll wait for my brother to come back to rectify the problem. He's the tech whiz around here. I don't know why the internet has to be such an asshole not wrong just connect and let me surf whatever I want. Everything was still fine earlier in the afternoon, till about 5 plus. When I came back from my shower the starhub thing was already there. Fucking annoying! ):<

Okay now that's done, I'm going to play games. Oh have I mentioned, I want all the Dream Day Wedding games they're just sooooo fun. I am not a loser, I just like the way the game is structured!

2009-02-28T06:46:00.003+08:00

Another bout of insomnia... Sian. I've decided to just stay up all the way today, just so I'd be so shit-damned tired tomorrow night that I'd be able to fall asleep at a regular hour, instead of at 730 or 8 in the morning.

I'm watching Extras to pass the time, a recommendation from the boyfriend, and it's quite retarded haha. I'm gonna be watching Nigella Lawson on youtube again. I know la, it's damn no life but the way she makes food is just so... aodaoiscmaoifalskncf!!! Yum.

Birthday update:
I'm one more step (or one more day) closer to my birthday, and yes... The person that means the most most most to me isn't going to be here on that magic day :( But frowns aside, baby's gonna be celebrating it with me before he leaves for his trip, so... cannot complain la. I'll miss the big fat bugger hehehe. But I also absolutely can't wait to spend some quality time with my friends!!! Can't wait to just go to places and drink/chill and laugh and talk shit with my best friends (: It's gonna be a good one, I feel it already!

Oh and what do you know, it's BRIGHT outside! I cannot believe it. It feels awesome waking up at 5pm but it honestly sucks to end up staying up till... forever. Okay, back to Extras. David Bowie's on!

2009-02-27T01:42:00.004+08:00

I really need to stop having expectations.

I really, really need to stop pinning my hopes on something someone says.

If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I should've been used to it by now. Which is sad, don't you think? It has come to such a sad point. And maybe that's what's been bugging me.

2009-02-26T01:39:00.002+08:00

In 10 hours,

I will be free from studying for the next 8 months. Can't wait for the real holidays to start (i.e. no worrying about exams and shit related to that) and either stay at home and just exist or go out and have the fun that I deserved, slogging my guts out this past year trying to get the best possible grades I can.

It's my birthday next week and I'm determined to have myself the best time, whether you're here or not. It's my day, so why should I let anything else affect me? Just for one day, it really is gonna be all about me. (That just sounded way too self-centred but I don't care it's my birthday and the rest of the world except those that matter can go fly kite.)

Nicole's getting her Mini Cooper on Friday, which means I'd be riding it around on my birthday! Yay, that's a good enough celebration, haha. We're planning to either go to Dempsey or Holland V - we'll see! No rush no fuss.

And hopefully, turning 20 will magically change some negative qualities in me... Although I highly, highly, HIGHLY doubt so.

2009-02-24T17:38:00.002+08:00

MTV got me hooked once again! The Girls of Hedsor Hall is a show about 12 out-of-control American girls being sent to a finishing school in England to become true ladies. Or something like that. It's something like Gs to Gents but I think a little bit more extreme and dramatic, which is fine by me cause I love drama-filled MTV shows hahaha. I get to live the drama life precariously through these people because mine's just too boring :(

Now that we're finally done with CCC which kept me up till the most ridiculous hour last night, I can't wait for MEP to be over. I'm already in holiday mood; I just want to sleep in every day and go out and just enjoy what's left of the holidays before SIP starts and I lose that little bit of social life left.

I notice the incoherence in this entry but aiya I cannot be bothered to link here link there, I already did that in CCC it's so tiring. So I shall scoot off and watch my new mtv addiction! (:

2009-02-23T15:56:00.002+08:00

Exams are the biggest bother. I just woke up from 3 of the nastiest dreams I've ever had in dream history (last night really wasn't a good one for me) and now my priorities tell me that I have to get down to work and start studying. Lack of impact due to the fact that I haven't mentioned that the 3 dreams caused me to have the worst morning headache ever.

I hate how everytime I'm finally happy, things just have to happen to damn me back to the other side of the emotional spectrum. How fucking annoying.

Yes I am a bit angsty, and I shall try my best to channel this angst into getting some studying done.

2009-02-21T21:19:00.003+08:00

It feels like a long time before the exams are gonna be over, and that's making me feel really sian. Supposed to go to the airport to study today but I wanted to sleep in and I figured that it's gonna be packed everywhere. Anyway it's harder to study on weekends there as well cause the staff at those coffee places and whatnot are generally more anal than they are on weekdays.

So instead, I woke up and went out with Benny, Sidney, JJ and Gladys instead - a small impromptu meeting that surprisingly happened! Anyway it's safe to say that that was the best part of my day cause right after that I just came home and started feeling sian. Glad we met today, we managed to finally get everything out of everyone and clarify all the rumours and gossip that's been flying around lately. And no surprise, Benny and Sidney once again made fat jokes about me. I don't think they will ever give me credit for losing weight :( At least I lost a little!

Aiya you know what. I've been trying way too hard to sound cheerful and shit so I'm just gonna be honest and say I'm tired and sian. I think I'm gonna just go stuff my face with chocolate ice cream and watch chick flicks by myself all night long.

2009-02-21T00:39:00.004+08:00

FILM'S OVER BITCHES.

I like the subject, but doing the paper by hand is just soooo painful, especially since we haven't been writing much unlike back in TK or VJ. I wish we could type our exam answers out, cause 1) we'd be able to fit so many more points in with half of the effort it takes to write the entire bloody thing 2) typing helps me concentrate on my use of language better. Okay, this doesn't apply to blogging obviously cause I can't be fucked to use my brain to make everything sound fancy shmancy.

Anyway I'm just taking a break from studying and thinking basically so I'm re-watching The Hills. Haha what a low-life. Vanessa and I went to "swim" at baby's house today (not really considered swimming since we only swam around a bit haha standard lazy shit) and chilled out in the beautiful sparkling blue water while the sun was nice and hot. I only say this because I was in water. On any other day, I'd be swearing at the sweltering heat that's been around this February. Back to the pool; I don't know why I have this really weird obsession with swimming pool water. I just love how it's a nice glossy shade of sky blue and sparkles in the sun. It's like glitter on water (okay I sound bimbotic but I'm not, I just like how the water looks!) which is GORGEOUS.

We should do that again, this time I'll slap on some sunscreen cause my cheeks and nose are a little bit red now, I look quite stupid.

Oh and have I mentioned how thankful I am for the weekend? I get to wake up as late as I want. Although my brother-in-law recommended some "hypnotic sleeping" thing to help with the insomnia so I think I might try it tonight. Goodbye mtv.com hello hypnotic sleepy music (:

2009-02-20T02:19:00.003+08:00

This is something I never understood: why is it that I fall asleep so effortlessly when I've school but once school's out, I'm constantly plagued with insomnia no matter how little I've slept the night before? Is it the lack of activity, staying at home the entire day bumming around with nothing much to do? I just don't get it. It's not like I'm physically active in school. All I do is walk around and sit around. And eat.

The problem isn't that I'm not tired - it's that even though my eyes and mind are tired beyond words, I just can't seem to fall asleep I hit the pillow. It's not fun cause when I wake up, my eyes will be throbbing and pounding in pain and when I move my muscles give me way too much hell.

Sleep troubles :( And for this and only this, I wished we were having school, then I wouldn't be chanting "Go to sleep" in my head for more than I can count. Mom might have some sleeping pills for me but I know they're not encouraged. Siannnn ALL I WANT IS TO SLEEP LA GOD WHY DO YOU KEEP TEASING ME LIKE THAT?!?!?!

2009-02-19T02:58:00.001+08:00

Film's on Friday and I've only covered 2 topics. I should probably go burn in hell now. The best thing that can happen on Friday is if I wake up late and miss the paper. Note to self: set all the alarms I can find in the house.

Think I'm gonna just read through and memorise from now on. Writing simply takes wayyyyy too much effort. Damn these exams, it's not like we haven't had enough of school! ):<

2009-02-16T23:26:00.003+08:00

We've always talked of change - in people, in circumstances, in everything. Since I left secondary school I've never really felt any different; never really felt like I've changed significantly in any way at all. But I guess after all this time, I've finally come to know where I've changed the most. That is, apart from becoming more troubled and depressed, haha.

When friends asked "Are you okay?" 3 or 4 years ago, I never hesitated when it came to pouring my heart and baring my soul out to them whenever there really was something wrong in my life. But I guess, after so many years of verbal vomit during these heart-to-heart talks, I've grown tired of confiding in people. Well it's not that I keep everything inside, I just confide selectively (sounds so... sigh). Eilania just asked me if I was alright just now and I went "yeah I'm fine - who am I kidding, I'm not okay.

But just as well, I just need some time to think alone anyway. So... Sorry Lania, it's not that I'm purposefully hiding things from you (I know best friends are supposed to tell each other everything), I just wanted to chill out on my own for a while and talk about things that have absolutely no relation to my problems whatsoever. I know you'll understand, so I'll say thanks first (:

And, they weren't kidding when they said love was hard.

2009-02-15T01:40:00.008+08:00

Photos from Timbre were up fast and OMG FUCKING UNGLAM. Honestly I don't know why I entertain those people when they ask me to do my multichin face. Whenever I look at the end result (i.e. the photos) I regret doing it LIKE FUCK. Praying Denise's batch of photos (which will be up soon I presume?) won't turn out as horrifying as Gus's. STUPID GOOSE.

Anyway Valentine's Day this year was the best I can remember. Honestly it's the only one I remember spending with someone special. Despite getting annoyed and all that last night I'm really touched that baby made the effort to make tonight really special for the both of us. Pity dinner took 2 fucking hours, if not we probably wouldn't be sitting there dozing off while waiting for our food. Not forgetting there were balloons at the restaurant and 3 heart-shaped helium ones tied to one of the chairs behind me. I was traumatised. Other than that, everything was perfect, even down to the imperfection that was my cupcake present for baby.

Now that vday is over, I can stop stressing about presents and start focusing on the upcoming Film exam next Friday. Seriously, school pisses the shit out of me. And I have yet to get notes from my friends for the lessons I've missed. Unfortunately, I'm a fan of oversleeping, sigh.

Omg I can barely keep my eyes open, I really need to get some sleep. Woke up at like 7am to bake and I haven't gotten any shut-eye since. Being awake 19 hours just doesn't make sense.

So goodnight, world. I hope you guys had a great vday, date or no date, and enjoy the weekend ahead. I'm planning to just sleep through tomorrow, which sounds like the best plan I've come up with since forever.

2009-02-14T03:21:00.002+08:00

Timbre was fun, although baby really annoyed me big time towards the end. (Sorry baby you gotta admit you were fucking annoying but I love you anyway.) Sex on the beach + awesome music + awesomer friends = UH HUH WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE.

Hopefully, we'd be able to keep up our fortnightly meetings once SIP starts. What a depressing thought. We ought to just enjoy our holiday before worrying about SIP, haha.

Baking at 7am tomorrow... Wow that's nuts cause I only have like 3.5 hours to sleep. Siannnnn why the hell I even think of baking in the first place?! Extra only!!!

2009-02-12T00:54:00.002+08:00

There's nothing a date with the best friends can't fix! :D
The chestnuts people were supposed to watch Benjamin Button today but Vanessa had her CNBC interview so they didn't end up watching anything. Hence I was stuck at home (thanks baby, for lunch and the ride home!) bored stiff. So I slept then got a message from Nicole and...

I MET MY BEST FRIENDS NICOLE AND EILANIA!!! Oh my god I miss themz. We've been busy with our own stuff - school and work and haven't really met up long enough to just chill and bitch about random things/people. Topics today included psychos (HAHA) and random stuff like brazillian waxes etc (: Dinner was expensive but yummy and so I'm happy!

I should really stop rambling cause it just sounds like I'm talking to myself. Other than time with the besties, I finally got down to watching 21! Jim Sturgess is the sex. And not that this has anything to do with 21 or Jim Sturgess, but Shan Wee has really nice hands. I realised his side profile's not bad too hehe.

Baby you are still the best k! <3

Okay people radio thing tomorrow quiet nervous and rather unprepared! Wish me luck! (:

2009-02-10T19:44:00.002+08:00

Thinking of changing layouts; something brighter and happier perhaps. But I'm just lazy so I'll leave that to another day. (Should I make my own or conveniently rip someone else's at blogskins.com?)

Crazy for Chocolate is the shit - it's a recipe book that teaches people how to melt chocolate properly (OMG after watching Chocolat I've been super feeling chocolate fondue and pretty much anything that has to do with melted chocolate) and make chocolate drinks (hot & cold) and COCKTAILS yum! I'm gonna be organised for once and make a list of the things I need to buy for baking on Friday with Nicole. Hopefully our stuff'll taste as good as they look on the book.

Radio's on Thursday and then we'd be DONE with school 'fo real. But then there's always that awesome spoiler: the exams. Not looking forward to the studying but not worrying about that yet.

3 things to look forward to this week:

1. Baking on Friday

2. Timbre @ Substation

3. Valentine's Day (?)

Don't really know if the third's really something to look forward to since we've both agreed not to do anything special on the day to celebrate it. But I guess any date with baby's worth being excited for haha.

And now, back to Crazy for Chocolate. Oooh so spoilt for choice!

2009-02-09T23:52:00.002+08:00

Highlight of the year: (Most probably)
The Cam 4 wire started smoking and popped/exploded/burst during production today. Thank God we were having a break and no one was near it. It was fun witnessing the incident. I've never seen a smokin' wire and sparks coming out of something that's rubber before.

Andddd that's about it ah.

2009-02-09T00:38:00.002+08:00

Had soooooo much fun with the boyfriend just now! He was trying to act all boy band-ish and dramatic while singing songs but it just turned out looking like he was a sex fiend who was gonna kill me after raping me, it was so funny. Baby, I wish for more times like this and less fights okay? Yay!

Everyone's pretty damn relieved now that MEP is out of our lives forever. Time to party (sort of) and live a little - we've all been way too stressed out for our own good! That's why there's Timbre @ Substation on Friday which I absolutely can't wait for. A chill place with awesome drinks and even more awesome friends. A good 9 of us - which was why I reserved a table (damn annoying when I used to be denied nice seats cause other people reserved them urgh)! I'm hoping that they'll be able to pull a couple more chairs up should there be 1 or 2 more people joining us on that day.

I'll be in a good mood for Multicam tomorrow to help Iman's group out which is a !!! cause I'm usually grumpy and frumpy on Monday mornings. Will be sure not to wear my "I've got a bad case of the Mondays" shirt tomorrow.

And since I'm pretty much done with whatever I want to say, it's time to go help out a friend in need (my poor, poor Nicole) and watch a DVD to relax! And maybe, just maybe, give myself some purple nails! :D

2009-02-06T02:06:00.002+08:00

MEP'S GONNA BE OUT OF OUR LIVES IN APPROXIMATELY 15 HOURS BITCHES!!! Oh yes that little fucker can now damn itself to hell :D

We stayed back until the Mac Lab closed today to relink EVERYTHING on Dreamweaver. That program is really an ass - it sucks and it's a colossal waste of our time. We haven't completed the relinking yet but we were chased out even before we could finish so... there's tomorrow I guess. And I'm hoping to death Murphy's in a good mood. According to him and his rubbish law, things can and will go wrong at the last minute. My previous experiences can hold testament to that statement but I'd just like it to be an exception when it comes to MEP. Dangerous subject to play with, this one.

I just wanted to blog to celebrate the soon-to-be passing of MEP. I will never ever have to, by choice, touch Dreamweaver again. Hopefully neither will I in my future jobs! Yay!

K now that I'm done screaming about MEP, I'm going to complete my stupid reflection and GO TO SLEEP HA HA HA.

2009-02-02T23:38:00.002+08:00

Marina Barrage with baby was SO AWESOME!!! It was nice and romantic; we ate the bacon aglio olio and hash brown crowns (the little round kinds) that I made while waiting for the boyfriend to finish his test thingy. That took a daaaaaamn long while but I suppose it was all worth the wait (: The place was awesome, super duper ultra windy man - the containers that our food was in kept flying about and dropping and shit hahaha. Baby promised he'd bring me there again - this time in the evening, with his DSLR!!! (Finally gonna be put to some use.)

Other than that it was, as every other school day, a rather uneventful day since I was so tired throughout multicam demo recording that I couldn't really remember much. I slept like a pig on the cab home. The uncle kept apologising for having to wake me up to ask for directions.

Oh, new discovery:
There's a new powerpuff girls series called Powerpuff Girls Z. It is full of shit. It's like an anime-ish version of the very cute original series. And OH MY GOODNESS they made the PPG look like the sailormoon gang. Honestly damn fucking sick. And the show isn't all innocent and cute anymore. It's just F.O.S PERIOD.

And since I'm done with watching Art Attack (oasidhasbdnkafc childhood favourite), I shall go to bed and get some shut-eye!

P.S. I'm soooo glad my week started off well. Finally.

2009-02-02T00:58:00.003+08:00

Now Playing: Secrets in Stereo - Happy

This is THE SHIT. I think I heard it on Laguna Beach, or... The City? Either way, it only shows how much of a loser I am, spending my days watching mindless teeny-bopper shows like these hahaha. Speaking of which, NEW GOSSIP GIRL EPISODE TOMORROW!!! Whoopie daisies!!!

In other news,
I'm keeping my fingers super crossed, hoping the picnic trip with baby happens tomorrow. I know la, who the hell goes picnicking on Monday right. Whateverrrrrr k we like. I just wanna sit on my blue ikea blanket under the stars (if any) and eat sandwiches (once again, if any). The presence of homemade food depends on what time our MEP meeting ends.

Oh MEP. The bane of our lives at the moment. On the up side, by the end of this week, we'd be done with almost everything - other than the exams which I'm not stressing about. Yet.

8.15 at school tomorrow... Seriously the earlist I've been in school since I went to poly. It's insane early. Sometimes I still wonder how I managed to go to TKGS every day not dying or anything. Even got the time to have breakfast with Wanting.

I must've had superpowers then.

2009-01-31T22:02:00.002+08:00

I'm sooooo sick of all the bad stuff that's been happening in my life. I quite literally feel like throwing them all up.

Laguna Beach has been my late night TV treat for the past... week? It's a completely pointless show that only show the world how Americans are stupid and have nothing better to do with their lives. It is also an excellent example how reality TV is so... unrealistic.

My brother and I wanted to play Mahjong with the mother but she said "How to play, 3 people only!" Louis and I then proceeded to explain to her a 3-player mahjong game but she didn't seem keen on it so that's one bubble burst.

Hopefully I'll get to get some sun and water tomorrow (in other words, swimming) cause I'm getting too pale for my own good. If not, yet another bubble burst. But what's the big deal - life just loves bursting all my bubbles.

By the time I'm 21 I'm probably thoroughly convinced that life is devoid of hope. Wow this has been one depressing entry.

I'm come back with something happier... soon. I hope.

2009-01-30T00:39:00.002+08:00

Seafood with the boys and Gladys at Chinatown again tomorrow!!! Can't wait :D Hopefully our visitation plans happen soon. I wanna play Guitar Hero World Tour. I wanna SING!!!! (And yes Benny Chin & Ben Wong, I know you guys are either laughing or sniggering at me right now as usual.)

Andddd right before that I'll be picking up the makeup palette the boyfriend bought for me. I'm stoked. Can't wait to see the pretty colours. Apparently, it looks like watercolour to Darius.

Oh the kid.

2009-01-28T20:02:00.002+08:00

This place isn't safe for me to speak my mind anymore and it sucks because now I have it all bottled up inside. Maybe I should move to wordpress and lock the entries I wanna lock. Hmm...

Anyway, I was feeling quite happy today but now I'm just sian. Unsafe to say the reason why (ohhhh how I wish I could say it here) so I'm just gonna leave it at that. In an effort to cheer myself up, I shall go count ang bao money and play shockwave games. As usual.

2009-01-23T23:44:00.003+08:00

I'M SO DONE WITH ALL THE WORK!!! I can't describe how liberated I feel. Finally, we get a break till Tuesday YESYESYES.

Chinatown with the boys and Gladys. Oh my goodness it was SO CROWDED it was nuts. And Mark was being the usual uncle that he was, stopping at every stall to taste the samples etc.

Highlight: I came across this stall where an uncle was painting those customised name things... You know the art-like thing where the artist draws like bamboos and phoenixes and dragons to make up the letters of your name? Yeah that one. I was so tempted to buy it cause I was enthralled by the way the artist did it so effortlessly! But it was $10 and I decided not to be impulsive. (Baby aren't you proud of me!)

We're going back again next week to the place that sells all the fucking stim food. It's called Jalan Makanan or something like that. I know it's called Chinatown Food Centre in English. I think. Anyhoos, I already can't wait for next Friday/Saturday! Anddddd plans to visit Benny's house (guitar hero world tour!!!) and Darren's house (awesome home theatre system plus an even more awesome view!!!) are underway - SO EGGCITING!!!

Life finally seems to be getting better. I'm not gonna mope around during weekends (while a certain someone goes out with his friends. Nudge nudge.) anymore! Hehehe :D

Enough time wasted - I'm going to fully make use of my long weekend, starting RIGHT NOW!

2009-01-23T00:16:00.004+08:00

I'd like to say that I'm so over it, but I'm not sure if I really am.

For now though, I think I need to concentrate more on studies than anything else. Fingers crossed - praying to see some kickass As for this semester's grades. Not being arrogant or whatever but I honestly think I deserve at least one.

---

Film Progress:
My attention is slowly slipping away and Laguna Beach (old school teen drama) is a HUGE distraction. What do you do when you just want to give up doing work?

I'm so tired, all that's on my mind right now is sleep. Everything else (and I mean EVERYTHING) is second to that.

---

I can't wait for tomorrow; reunion with the VJ kids at Chinatown. No idea what the hell we're gonna do there but I'm sure we'll find something. Sounds awesome already. I miss those dudes they make me feel young (and not to mention fat cause the only jokes they know how to make about me are fat jokes - I don't know whether to laugh or to cry) again.

My family's having an early reunion on Saturday. We do things different, not that it bothers us, we're not particularly traditional. I thought I'd be sad and lonely on Sunday since the entire world's having their reunion dinners then but NO! My brother's buying tickets to Red Cliff for the three of us (him, myself and my mom) at Cathay. Yay at least I don't have to stay home and mope!

I think that's enough distraction for now, I really should get back to work. The entire world seems to have completed their term papers except me.

WOE.

/Edit
So much for "I won't be too late I promise".

2009-01-21T22:07:00.002+08:00

Back with news of my Mediacorp interview!

Things went pretty well I think... I hope? The interviewer (called Mr Syarif HAHA) just asked me about the kind of production work that we do in school, what kind of editing softwares we're taught and what I feel I'm good at.

Contrary to what I was feeling, he said that I seemed confidence and he liked it cause he was afraid I'd be like "oh no what is he gonna ask me!!!". In actual fact that question was floating all over my mind. That confidence thing was ALL AN ACT.

I don't know if my interview went well enough for me to get it though. Well at least I know that if I get it, I'll have friends there - Denise and Darius! (93.8 LIVE ASSES)

But most importantly, I wouldn't even have turned up for the interview if not for baby. I was really so scared I didn't wanna go at all. Rather not show up than screw it up and embarrass myself.

So thank you baby, very very much. I don't even know how much I owe you now. Probably everything. Thanks for always being there when I need you the most. It really helped knowing you'd be outside waiting for me no matter how the interview turned out. And for just being there, I love you (:

And if you feel like vomiting after reading my confession, ~~sorry!~~ actually I don't really care ah haha. You could've chosen not to read it!

The saddest news tonight:
BACK TO WORK.

2009-01-20T17:02:00.004+08:00

Mediacorp called me at 8.50am today, letting me know about the interview I have with them tomorrow. Oh the horror.

1) I wasn't awake and it was so difficult trying to talk like I've been awake forever.
2) I wasn't awake and paying attention to what she was saying was like, aosidhalosdna.
3) I have to find my way to Mediacorp tomorrow after CCC tutorial.
4) Don't know what to wear. I might just go for the interview in my semi-formal.
5) My resume is very full of shit :(

Really shitting bricks right now, with interview troubles and FILM to worry about. Oh god film. I have to talk about it. My progress has been so excruciatingly slow that this time, I actually might really really really have problems finishing it on time. I have two days left and too much to do.

Inside, I am secretly panicking like a mad cow. How? I just can't seem to garner enough concentration to keep focused on my term paper. Either that or I'm just stoning and thinking about the possibilities of what they might ask me during my interview tomorrow. And since I have such a fucked up sense of direction, I don't know if I'll be able to even find my way there.

Stupid first impressions - they're such bothers. Must always be punctual (bigass problem for me), figure out how to dress just right for the occasion and be careful with words. What's this whole deal, it creates unnecessary stress and worry for people who are already drowning in a million assignments. Not wrong they schedule interviews in February after the bulk of assignments are over.

My rant is over and I. NEED. TO. DO. FILM.

2009-01-18T13:23:00.003+08:00

Now Playing: The Beatles - Do You Want To Know A Secret

Baby went "Why you never update!" last night so okay la, give you a little treat today!

School has been biting everyone in the ass lately and its not fun. I seriously can't fucking wait for this sem to be over - term paper, pointless dumbass group projects and the ridiculous EXAMS (omg exams I never do well in them! FURY!). Then it's holiday fever until we've to deal with SIP rubbish. BUT! No reason why I should worry about SIP now, I've work to do and friends to meet!

Gonna head down to the National Library (Kenneth told me last night that the name's been changed to Central Library but I don't care) to borrow books for my film term paper. But mom just told me that we can only borrow the fiction books from the basement. I honestly hope to death I'm not wasting my time going there. :/

We'll see!

P.S. The Beatles have the cutest songs of all time. And! The Dubliners and the Pogues! Mad for Irish drinking songs :D

2009-01-14T22:09:00.004+08:00

My life at the moment is pretty much in the dumps, but I really need to thank people like Vanessa, Edah, Nicole, Eilania and Andrea for turning things around for me. Thank you, just for listening and being there, even if it's not physically.

I was so depressed this afternoon, I decided to go to Vivo to shop instead of going home cause I know I'd mope around and make things worse for myself. Thank God for Eilania and Andrea. Good news: I bought a new bikini! I don't have to wear that lame red and blue flowery one anymore! This one's white with black polka dots and I love it. Hehe!

After the bikini I pretty much have no money left. (Actually I still have $60 in my wallet but it's for my phone bill. Fucked up phone bill!) Siannnnn I'm back to square one - scraping around my house in hope of finding some moolah.

I'm feeling a lot better now, which brings me to another point. Retail therapy is the best way to cheer up even the most depressed person on earth. Oh and I think I didn't mention. I walked into River Island today and I almost died. There were soooooooooo many nice/cute tops/bottoms/shoes that my heart literally ached from not being able to afford them. There and then, I silently swore to myself that I will one day be so filthy rich that buying down the entire store won't be a problem for me.

But I also silently know, deeeeeeeep down in my heart, that I will never, ever ever ever in my life, be that rich. :(

2009-01-12T19:39:00.004+08:00

For some reason, my mom has taken a sudden liking to baby. Not that it's a bad thing, it's just, well, sudden and quite weird! Ahh, I'm not complaining. He gets to come over now! Hehe! (The mothership has also been requesting for his presence during Matty's visits. I wonder...)

In other less exciting news (yes my life is THAT unexciting), Multicam demo proposal is DONE AND DONERRR. It's been handed up so I can just wash my hands off it now. Time to concentrate on CCC group project (due MONDAY!) and film term paper (due THURSDAY!). Honestly don't know how I'm going to finish all that within the week but hey, I've created miracles before (:

And now, for some non-school-related entertainment.
TV TIME!